Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
