I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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