its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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