who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize