I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
