At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
