Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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