I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
