Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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