I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
