dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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