the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
