that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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