Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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