Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
