the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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