I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have feelings that need drinking.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
