you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
