He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
