Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
