omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
