It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
