people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.