Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
