I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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