dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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