it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
