I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
