Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
