sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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