So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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