Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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