Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
