He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
