Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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