you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
