yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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