I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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