can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
