Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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