Your dad touched me again.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
