I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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