i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
