I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize