that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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