Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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