i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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