They should really pass out barf bags in church
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
