Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I pour the whiskey from now on
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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