i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize