He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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