we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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