i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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