brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize