Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i came on her dog
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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