Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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