Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
