I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
