everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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